“In order for something new to come, something old must go”.

This was a passage I heard from a cliche motivation video I came across today, I use the word ‘cliche’ cause, people tend to resonate and interact with these small clips, to portray themselves, as people who live virtuous lives, but do the complete opposite(Me)! I’ve found myself reverting back to old habits. Habits I was hoping to leave in the previous year, but seem to crawl back into my life. These are habits I feel sway my focus, and implicitly my goals astray.

These goals I’m pursuing tend to contain tedious journeys, that pure motivation can’t conquer alone. I’m pretty sure I’ve discussed my difficulties with staying disciplined, and strictly relying on motivation. I don’t want to regurgitate the same old slop like some red pill fanatic XD, but it’s still something worth saying.

I need to accustom myself to boredom, it’s easy to understand the epitome of cybersecurity, but time is needed to truly grasp the complexity of such a… system. This journey has already put me up against times of pure boredom and disinterest, though nothing worth doing is easy, or ever dull. In this day and age I’m so used to constant stimulus and gratification, that I refuse to give myself the patience, to push through the boring times.

Which is the reason I land back where I don’t want to be! Though now knowing all this, how do I change it? I’ve already been trying to incorporate hobbies, good hobbies I want to do, in place of the old bad ones, but. Though I do try to incorporate the so called “Gone with the old, in with the new” mindset. The new tend to… Have their own challenges. I’m aware of the nuances with these challenges, as previously stated anything worth value isn’t easily attainable, as the journey is where the bits of value are attained, so some could see these challenges as worth it, good. Yet these challenges are the very sole reason I give up, despite my desire for it.

This seems like a question that can’t be easily solved, which usually evinces a of doubt. “Can I do this”, “I don’t think this is for me”. Though I wish this was something easily resolved XD! Trial and error will have to suffice.

Though that doesn’t mean I won’t be intentional with my trials and tribulations! This deliberate approach will allow me to see what works, and what doesn’t. What I like, and what I don’t like. When I revert back to old habits.This will allow me to decipher my errors and try again. When I have the urge to scroll on tiktok, I’ll draw, or I’ll revise what I’ve recently learnt regarding cyber security.

This is a journey! To grow, and overcome. To grow, and overcome. And I’ll document it here! The wins, the setbacks, the patterns I notice. Not for perfection, but for progress.