If I’m improving in certain aspects but stagnant in others, is that improvement?

I’ve just completed the Burp Suite module. The path was just after web-hacking basics. I’ve completed two paths yet no blog posts were made on them. Sure, for the Web-hacking basics I did a series, but the majority of the posts were late. I’m very inconsistent.

My cybersecurity learning is consistent, at the beginning of my learning period I would put in 2-3 hours a day learning content. I read an hour a day, and I draw for a decent amount of time. Even though now my cyber learning and drawing has dropped to an hour a day, having that discipline to stay consistent is pivotal to the process.

Despite the progress I’m witnessing — TikTok doom-scrolling has returned! Started off as something I would do after exercising and learning, which gradually consumed more and more of my time. Even today, I was stuck on the pernicious app the whole morning. Though now I see this through a new facet. I decided to restrict my access to social media, due to the time consumption it had on my day to day life. I was unable to get productive tasks done, or do anything productive in general.

So if my productivity has improved, why fix something that’s not broken? In retrospect social media had negative impacts on my life which I acknowledged and improved. So to answer the first question leading into this discussion, with another question. Is bringing back something that negatively impacted one’s well-being, beneficial? Most people including myself would obviously say NO! Though this isn’t a drug like cocaine or heroin.

We all know those two drugs have profoundly swift negative effects on a person, both physically and mentally. Can we say the same for social media? I can recall days being flipped upside down due to a scrolling session that lasted hours. The funny thing is I’m aware that I must stop, and should probably do some cyber learning, read, or draw. Though it’s that constant affirmation, “Just after this video.” My productivity has given me a fake sense of assurance — to incorporate something that was harmful to my well-being, but now being more attentive and careful with it, I’ll be fine. I’m clearly putting myself in a precarious position, that will eventually lead me back to the struggles that once prevailed. So back to the question — Is bringing back TikTok, that once negatively impacted my life beneficial? Absolutely not!

It’s not necessarily social media in general but the habits that come with it, and I’m assessing how I should approach this. A few reflections prior I discussed replacing bad habits and incorporating good ones. Instead of watching TikTok all day, I’ll draw, or read etc. Though that doesn’t have instant gratification compared to watching a cool or funny clip. I’ve been drawing consistently for weeks and I’ve still not experienced that ‘hit’ compared to TikTok or Instagram reels. The lack of fulfillment from the good habits leave a crack in the wall, which over time allows the bad habits to seep through. Cause honestly the good habits don’t necessarily fulfill my need, it only helps me acknowledge my lack of it.

Annoyingly, this isn’t something I can instantly solve right now. The fact that social media compared to drawing, is more gratifying, especially at the stage I’m currently in, is probably the pivotal issue. The amount of times I’ve felt frustrated with drawing then happy is infinite. Though with the consistency of my drawing and cyber learning, it will get to a point where my satisfaction from both, will be just as fulfilling as TikTok.

The importance of ‘time’ is crucial at this stage of my endeavours, and teaching myself to enjoy the process would make it much easier. The question is HOW!? When drawing and learning cybersecurity, I get frustrated and unmotivated, a lot! I honestly can’t envision enjoying or appreciating the frustration and struggle in those tough moments. Don’t get me wrong I’ve heard it plenty of times! Those self-help gurus regurgitating about enjoying the process rather than the destination. I’ve probably said that, or a form of it in one of these posts before. I just can’t fully comprehend it yet. Something for me to think about for the next reflection.